I Have Returned to the God of My Father
Every time I listen to this old song my heart leaps only in my case it is “I have returned to the God of my Grandfather”. As I listened to this song my heart’s cry was to once again to return to Israel. Three and a half years ago I visited Israel for my first time. It was exciting and my expectations were great. I was returning to my spiritual roots. As some of you know, during the trip I became very ill. God saw that I returned to the US before I was hospitalized. Death’s door was certainly open to me but Father God saw to close it tightly and return me to life. Even though the trip was great, my memories have been of getting ill and the trauma I went through after returning home. The special ness of the trip was stolen from me through bad health after returning.
I believe the God we serve is a God of restoration. He not only wants to restore our wounded hearts back to him, he wants to restore geographical locations, dates, names of people, etc., every circumstance that has caused wounded ness to his children. In Dec. I began to pray that God would redeem the trip to Israel. I prayed the experiences that I went through after returning from the first trip – would be replaced with new, healing and healthy experiences. Even though God miraculously brought me through – I wanted to have healthy memories to redeem the unhealthy.
One of my prayers I was praying regarding my trip was to really hear the Lord regarding some direction in my life and some decisions I need to make. The anticipation grew as the days got closer for my trip. I must say my expectations of meeting God and hearing his direction was highly exalted. I went to Jerusalem a few days before I was to meet up with the ministry team I would be traveling with so I would have a few extra days of quiet time with the Lord. I knew how I wanted him to speak and what I wanted him to say.
Where was he going to speak to me? Would it be at the Western Wall or maybe when I spent the afternoon sitting in the Garden Tomb? Since I have been through a Gethsemane experience, maybe he would speak to me in the Garden of Gethsemane? Would it be when I first arrived in Israel or later during my trip? One of my favorite places to go is the Sea of Galilee. Maybe this is where I would hear his still small voice speak direction to my heart as I traveled across the still Sea of Galilee in the Jesus boat.
The trip was great but as the days got closer to returning home – I still hadn’t heard Father speak to me the way I was expecting. One afternoon I was complaining and asking him why he hadn’t spoken to me. All of a sudden I heard a spontaneous flow of God’s thoughts to my heart say, “Do I not speak with you each day? You recognize my voice, have I been silent or have I not answered in the way you expected?” Immediately I realized how he was correcting me. Why did I think I had to travel to Israel to seek him for direction when I dialog with him daily? I quickly repented and asked Father to forgive me for not hearing what he had been saying all along to me. Could it be he was speaking to me but I didn’t want to hear what he was saying? – So did going to Israel to hear him became an idol of my heart – even to the place that I filtered his voice through the idol of what I wanted his direction to be? Ouch! I was gently, lovingly corrected and quickly agreed to spend the rest of the time in Israel just enjoying myself, listening to his heart and resting in the fact that he holds not only my life in his hands but every desire of my heart also. I stopped looking and listening for his voice to knock me off my feet and started to just rest in him and be content with what he was saying to me. I spent time getting to know my spiritual roots, walking in the footsteps of Jesus and getting to know his people better. The pressure to hear with off of me and I could just delight in him during the rest of my trip.
As we approached Mount Carmel – the ministry team was excited to go to the top and pray. I had been there before and I was struggling with going again. I was tired from long hours of the trip and ministry and I thought I would just stay back and rest. Then, I was asked to join the team and pray for the United States and repent on behalf of our sinful nature. In our team there were 19 of us from six different countries and each of us prayed on behalf of our country. So I climbed out of the bus and went up to Mt Carmel and prayed and repented.
Then in a moment of silence with the wind blowing mightily, I heard the lord speak to my heart! It was a mighty strong voice with much power but yet gentle and soft. I heard him say “You are the prophetic seed of the loins of your grandfather”. You are his prayers to me being fulfilled in this generation. You have struggled with your identity and your purpose in life. You have asked me why I created you, why I called you and yet you won’t hear my answer. You are the prayers of your grandparents and generations before them being fulfilled in today’s generation. Just as you are the prophetic seed prayed over before conception – so are your children and your grandchildren. Just as you have returned to the God of your fathers, so will your children and your grandchildren.
WOW. How that word of the Lord hit me. All of a sudden I knew why I was created. Not only for God’s pleasure but also because of the prayers of generations before me – that God’s word would be passed from generation to generation. All of a sudden, I stepped into my identity! It was settled. I was born for a purpose. I no longer was judging myself as being bad or ugly or overweight or a mistake or any other lies the enemy had feed me. I was created to be me because the father loves me and is delighted in me and because I am fulfilling Father’s promise to generations before me. This has been life changing for me.
I probably wouldn’t have gone to Mount Carmel if I wasn’t encouraged to do so. (I almost missed out on what God had for me. How many times do we sabotage ourselves when God doesn’t do things our way?) The very place I felt that God would less likely speak to me is the very place he confirmed my identity. I finally got it! Even though I have known about generational curses and blessings and have even taught on the subject – revelation hit me that day on Mt Carmel. It was no longer just in my head but ingrained in the very marrow of my bones and flows through every cell of my body and every ounce of blood that causes my heart to beat.
My prayer for each of you is that you also come to experience God and his love for you and purpose for your life. I pray that you step into the identity he has for you. There is no better place to live. When you live out of your Godly identity, you live out of Father God himself and all he has for you. If you have lost hope for your children or grandchildren….look up for God’s promises are for you and your generation. Just as with me, you are the prophetic seed of the loins of your forefathers – I encourage you to step into that identity and live as the prince or princess you were born to be! A child of the King. Now when I hear the song “I Have Returned to the God of My Fathers” it has a new meaning to me. Not only does my heart leap with joy I rest in the person God created me to be. I am also thankful that I didn’t miss what the Spirit of the Lord was saying to me.
Judy Taber
Hearts Set Free Ministry
April 2005
Mt Carmel, Israel
Lisa Shuey
March 19, 2010
Wow, Judy, loved this! I don’t think I mentioned to you that my recent path through the “spiritual crisis” actually reminded me that my life-long dream had been to write a book. I actually wanted to major in English literature or creative writing in college. But, I was already outright defying my father by going to college. He could see no reason for a GIRL to go to college. All I would do was stay home and have babies, so who cared?? I CARED!! I loved learning! And, honestly, college was the perfect way to escape my home, without marrying or being completely indepedent. So, although I dreamed of writing, I headed in the more practical directions of education and human services. (I wish someone had mentioned that I would make poverty level wages!)
So, when I got back to that memory, I felt deep satisfaction. I had a dream again…a goal for the future, no matter how distant. And I could finally do something for the Kingdom that felt right and natural.
I would actually like to return to school and get my masters in some type of Christian environment, increasing my knowledge of Biblical history and knowledge of the scripture…with a focus on creative writing…to write devotions or inspirational material. BUT with all these new developments, I can see all sorts of new possibilities unfolding!!
We shall see!! I am excited to see what He has in store for me. And, I thrilled to think that I am the culmination of the prayers of my forefathers. I am the oldest grandchild on my mother’s side, who was the child of the pastor…reverend, actually. Two of the younger male grandchildren are already in ministry. Interesting that my mother’s sister, the one in the accident that caused her father’s death, is the sibling that has totally turned from God in adulthood. I wonder how much blame and anger she still hangs onto?? So much makes sense to me now…what a relief!!
Have a blessed day! In His care, Lisa
Judy Taber
August 17, 2010
Lisa,
I am so sorry I haven’t replied to this. I didn’t know when I was in Hong Kong that we were having problems with our website but it is all working great now. I pray you do return to school. You need to use all the gifting God has given you. You are a blessing.
Laura
May 11, 2010
Four years ago I started back a trail to discover my Hebrew Roots and I have found a deeper faith in Yeshua than when I knew Him as Jesus. Scriptures says the hearts of the father will be turned to the children and the hearts of the children will be turned to the fathers. In essence our G_d is speaking today to turn back to the faith of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (the fathers)There is only one people of G_d and His sheep do hear his voice and are known of Him.
Judy Taber
February 2, 2012
Laura,
Thank you for your post. I know it was posted months ago. I am finally learning how to manipulate our website so I can answer comments. Lord willing I think I have it down now and will be able to be more consistent on a more regular bases. Thank you for sharing. You, your children and grandchildren at the prophetic seed of God. The only thing that can stop them is their own willingness to walk in obedience in what Holy Spirit calls them to. Other than this, nothing can stop them from accomplishing the will of God in their lives.
Blessings,
Judy Taber
Dave Meyer
June 17, 2010
I really liked your post!
I visited 2 the Holy land, and my favorite place is also the Sea of Galilee.
I found out that there is an Amazing site for the Jesus Boat Museum, http://www.JesusBoatMuseum.com
you should check it out, it will bring you great memories from the Holy land, Sea of Galilee and the Jesus Boat.
Blessings,
Dave
Judy Taber
August 17, 2010
Dave,
I apologize for taking so long to reply. We were having problems with our website and didn’t know it until recently. Yes, Israel is a special place. I will check out the website for the Jesus Boat Museum. Thank you for visiting our site. Let me know how we can serve you in the future.
Judy Taber
February 2, 2012
Thank you so much for your comment Dave. I will check out the website you suggested on the “Jesus Boat”.
Blessings,
Judy Taber
Sharyn Ferrie
January 14, 2011
Judy,
I can relate to so much of what you experienced during your first visit to Israel. My husband and I joined with a tour for our first visit to Israel in 2005. As a completed Jew, I was excited to walk the land where my Lord walked, to breathe the air He breathed, to see the skies and mountains He saw. However, the moment we left New York, I was striken by a extremely painful bladder infection. For the entire flight, I was in agony. When we landed, I told our tour guide I needed a doctor and she asked our tour group of 66 -then- strangers, if anyone had any penicillin. Thanks be to God, one woman had brought a bottle ‘just in case’. The first three days were challenging but the other seven were wonderful. Now it is our dream to return ‘home’ without a tour and truly walk where our Lord walked.
When we were at the Sea of Galilee, my husband and I woke just before sunrise and decided to have private prayer at the lake. All of a sudden, a white bird came out of ‘nowhere’ and circled over our heads, then disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared. It was a golden moment shared between us and with Father God.
I am the only believer in my family of Jewish traditionalists. I have prayed for my parents, siblings, relatives for thirty years. My two adult children have rebelled and think I’m a fanatic. What you shared, Judy, touched me because it reminds me of the faithfulness of God, that some forefather or mother might have prayed and I am the product of those prayers, As I pray for my children and grandchildren, I’m reminded that Hope doesn’t disappoint. God bless you and your ministry.
Judy Taber
February 2, 2012
Sharyn,
Thank you for your comments. Yes, your household will know the faithfulness of God. Since I wrote the post I have been back to Israel many times. Every trip has its rewards and challenges but I have fallen in love with Israel. I am so blessed that I didn’t allow the first trip to be a negative experience that would keep me from all that God have for me to receive. I do believe the experience at Mt. Carmel changed my life and stirred up the love inside of me for Israel. As I am sure you are aware – we need to Bless Israel.